Improving well-being to redefine success

At SEG, we want our students to succeed, so we focus on ensuring their well-being and reducing student stress.

Success is unique to each individual; we are all different in our personality, character, and interests, so naturally we hold a variety of opinions about what success is. We base our success on our goals, values, and beliefs.

Students can feel enormous pressure to be perfect, conscious of high expectations from the people most important to them. For some students, success can mean getting good grades; for others, learning new things or making new friends.

General tips on how to be successful – such as managing time well, setting realistic goals, and engaging in extracurricular activities – are well known. One thing often overlooked is how the power of embracing our imperfections can lead to improved well-being, and ultimately a more successful life.

Here are a few reasons why: 

• You will become more resilient. When we make a mistake, the most important response is to pick ourselves up and keep going. Embracing our imperfections means accepting that we will not always be perfect, and that's okay.
   
• You will be more authentic. When we try to be perfect, we often put on a façade that hides our true self, and makes connecting with others more difficult.  Embracing our imperfections means being comfortable with who we are, our flaws and all. Embracing the authenticity of who we really are is healthy, and helps us build stronger relationships with others.
   
• You will dare to take more risks. Risk-taking is essential for growth and success, but we are less likely to take risks when we are afraid of making mistakes. Embracing our imperfections frees us to step outside our comfort zone and try new things that can lead to greater opportunities and exciting experiences.

How can we learn to embrace our imperfections? Here are a few tips:

• Start identifying your perfectionist tendencies by asking yourself: in which areas of my life do I feel the need to be perfect? Once you've made a list of these areas, one by one you can challenge each thought and each belief about perfection to ultimately reduce student stress.
   
• Shift your focus to your many strengths. Make a list to help you remember them. We all have strengths and weaknesses. When you focus on your strengths, you will feel more confident and capable.
   
• Be kind to yourself. When you make a mistake, don't beat yourself up about it! Instead, try to learn from it and move on. Immediately write down the lessons you have learned to return to it when needed. Talk to yourself in the same way you would talk to a friend that you wish to encourage. Self-compassion is the ability to be understanding and accepting of yourself, even when you make mistakes. When you make a mistake, try to say something kind to yourself, like: "I made a mistake, but that’s okay! I am going to learn from this and do better next time."
   
• Find a support system. Having people around you who can support you and accept you for who you are without judgment can be helpful. For academic life, find a study buddy. Studying with a friend can help you stay motivated and on track. Join a study group. Study groups can be a great way to learn new things and get help from your classmates.
   
• Celebrate your success. When you achieve a goal, celebrate your success! Positive feelings help in accepting your imperfections. Treat yourself to something you enjoy. Make it personal. This could be anything from dining at a favorite restaurant to buying a new book or experiencing something new.
   
• Take care of your mental health. Stress, anxiety, and depression can make facing your imperfections more difficult. Ensure you are taking care of your well-being by getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly.

Embracing your imperfections is a journey, not a destination. Changing your mindset and learning to accept yourself for who you are takes time, but is well worth the effort. Remember to treat yourself with kindness. When you embrace your imperfections, you'll be more likely to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Part of accepting our imperfections includes redefining our idea of success. But to define our vision of success, we need to know our values. Values are the things or attributes that are most important to us in life. Knowing these can help us prioritize what is truly important in success.

If you need help identifying values, here is a list of examples to help you understand them and what they may mean to you.

Altruism Friendship Love Learning Authenticity Autonomy Adventure Affability Diligence Daring Bravery Kindness Beauty Human-connection Competition Confidence Control Creativity Courage Discovery Devotion

Discretion Discipline Interaction Listening Equality of rights Commitment Enthusiasm Fulfillment Fairness Mutual help Hope Excellence Family Reliability Justice Freedom Loyalty Appearance Modesty Order Open-mindedness Performance

Power Perfection Profit Relation Responsibility Results Rigor Security Serenity Service Sincerity Solitude Enjoyment (savoir-vivre) Spirituality Tolerance Truth Victory Willpower Wisdom Perseverance Sharing

Once you have completed identifying your values, you can define what success is to you. Here are some suggestions on how to redefine your idea of success:

• Be flexible – things don't always go as planned, so be willing to adapt and readapt your definition of success as needed.
   
• Life is not about the destination; it's about the journey. Enjoy the process of fulfilling your goals, and take a moment to acknowledge them and celebrate them.
   
• Don't compare yourself with others. You are unique, and this is your journey. Don't let others' successes or failures define your own. Just work on learning and growing as a person.
   

The formula for your own success depends on YOU, the authentic, imperfect YOU!